Staff Interview: Carol Murphy
by Michael Ernest

The first and best thing one can say about Carol Murphy is she's fearless. She's the first person I've met who deals drugs in broad daylight. She gets caught at it every time, but has yet to be arrested for it! Impressive. Carol teaches as a substitute, so she's not afraid of sniper fire, and she puts in time moderating the Cattle Drive as she teaches herself Java.

Carol was born in San Diego, CA, but grew up in Livermore. Her escape? Professional dancing. So from dancing to pharmacy to schoolteaching to programming, that's a zig-zag career path that would befuddle any parent.

Since we can't record how Carol explains herself to family at Thanksgiving dinner, we just asked what we think her parents would have asked.

The interview rules are simple. 10-15 blind questions. Answering quickly is paramount; we want gut-reaction answers so that you, the loyal reader, gets the full experience of socking it to a moderator — but good!

JavaRanch: How come sign language is not considered a dance form?
Carol: Because you don't use your feet.

JavaRanch: Who has more evil cunning, Catbert or Garfield?
Carol: Catbert. Garfield is more manipulating.

JavaRanch: Which B vitamin do you admire the most? Only don't pick riboflavin, that's mine.
Carol: Which one is B-6? Is that Thiamine?

JavaRanch: I'm asking the questions here.
Carol: Oops.

JavaRanch: What's your favorite aspect of working on the Cattle Drive?
Carol: Finally arriving at a solution so I can get some sleep! It keeps me awake if I can't solve a problem

JavaRanch: Be honest. You've never worn chaps while programming? Not once?
Carol: Do leg warmers count? I lost my chaps...

JavaRanch: Hmm. Evasive. What is your primary motivation for learning Java?
Carol: Losing my fear of the unknown. Learning to make these contraptions do my bidding. Maybe a new career?

JavaRanch: True or false. The government is keeping vitamins B7 through B11 from the public and using them to make genetically-modified super soldiers.
Carol: Well, I'm not supposed to let this out, but you're close. It's actually the Tang that the astronauts took into space that they are using for that project. (But it's a secret!)

JavaRanch: I'm putting down 'True.' OK, Word association. I say a word, you respond with the first one that comes to mind. Ready?
Carol: Go

JavaRanch: boolean
Carol: Ackkkkk

JavaRanch: Julian
Carol: Lennon

JavaRanch: cerulean
Carol: blue

JavaRanch: antediluvian
Carol: antiwhat?

JavaRanch: What's your favorite disco song?
Carol: Staying Alive (I think)

JavaRanch: Complete this sentence: The one thing I would do to spice up JavaRanch is ____?
Carol: more chilis.

JavaRanch: The one thing JavaRanch should never change is ___?
Carol: being there.

JavaRanch: OK, someone is signing to you and shuffling their feet nervously. Now is it dance, or are you just a snobby purist?
Carol: It probably means they're too embarrassed to ask where the restroom is. Yes, I'm a purist.

JavaRanch: OK, last question. You're at the movies by yourself with no cash left. The person on your left has Red Vines and Junior Mints. The person on your right has heavily buttered popcorn and a small Sprite. You only have one shot at smiling before the feature starts. Which way do you turn?
Carol: Right.